North Carolina is one of only a handful of states that still allows a spouse to sue the person who interfered with their marriage. There are actually two separate claims, they work very differently, and most people who ask about one are really asking about both.
Call (704) 255-6992 to discuss whether you have a claim, or to defend one.
The two claims are not the same
| Alienation of affection | Criminal conversation | |
|---|---|---|
| What it targets | Conduct that destroyed a marriage | Sexual intercourse with a married person |
| Does it require sex? | No | Yes, that is the entire claim |
| Who can be sued | Anyone who wrongfully interfered, including a relative or friend | Only the person who had intercourse with the spouse |
| How hard to prove | Harder, requires proving causation | Easier, essentially strict liability once proven |
What alienation of affection requires
The plaintiff must generally show three things: that there was a marriage with genuine love and affection between the spouses, that this love and affection was alienated and destroyed, and that the wrongful and malicious conduct of the defendant caused that loss. The defendant does not have to be a romantic partner. Claims have been brought against relatives, friends, and employers who actively worked to break up a marriage.
What criminal conversation requires
Despite the name, this is not a criminal charge. It is a civil claim, and it requires only proof of a valid marriage and sexual intercourse between the defendant and the plaintiff spouse during that marriage. Consent of the spouse is not a defense. Neither is the claim that the marriage was already unhappy.
The deadline and the separation cutoff
These claims carry a three year statute of limitations. Critically, North Carolina law bars claims based on acts that occur after the spouses physically separate with the intent to remain separate. That single rule decides many of these cases. It means the timing of the conduct relative to the date of separation is often the central factual battleground.
Damages
Both claims can support compensatory damages for loss of consortium, mental anguish, humiliation, and injury to health or reputation. Punitive damages are available where the conduct was particularly egregious. North Carolina verdicts in these cases have at times been very large, which is why they are taken seriously by both sides.
If you have been sued
Defenses commonly focus on the separation cutoff, the statute of limitations, whether genuine love and affection actually existed before the defendant appeared, and whether the marriage was already over. Do not communicate with the plaintiff or the spouse about the claim before speaking with a lawyer, and preserve your messages rather than deleting them, because deletion creates its own problems.
Frequently asked questions
Can I sue my spouse under these claims?
No. These claims are brought against the third party, not against your spouse.
Do I have to be divorced first?
No. The claims do not require that a divorce be filed or completed.
Is criminal conversation actually a crime?
No, despite the name. It is a civil claim for money damages.
What if we were already separated?
Conduct occurring after a physical separation with intent to remain separate generally cannot support the claim. The date of separation is often the decisive fact.
Call (704) 255-6992 to talk through your situation confidentially.
Related: North Carolina divorce and Charlotte divorce lawyer.