Violating a DANCO During Child Exchanges: Safer Ways to Coordinate in North Carolina

In North Carolina, protective orders — such as a Domestic Violence Protective Order (DVPO) or Domestic No-Contact Order (DANCO) — are designed to prevent contact between individuals after allegations of abuse, threats, or harassment. But when parents share children, these orders can create a serious conflict: How can you safely exchange your child without violating the order?

Violating a DANCO, even accidentally, can result in arrest, jail time, or new criminal charges. This article explains how North Carolina courts handle contact during child exchanges, what counts as a violation, and the safest ways to coordinate custody while staying within the law.

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What Is a DANCO in North Carolina?

In North Carolina, a Domestic Violence Protective Order (DVPO) under Chapter 50B can include no-contact provisions that function like a DANCO (Domestic Abuse No-Contact Order). These orders prohibit the defendant from:

• Contacting or communicating with the protected person.
• Approaching their home, workplace, or school.
• Harassing, following, or threatening the individual in any form.

In some cases, the order includes exceptions for child exchanges, but these must be carefully followed. If no exception is written into the order, any form of contact — including texts, calls, or showing up at an exchange location — could count as a violation.

Violating a DANCO During Child Exchanges

Even if your intentions are innocent — like trying to drop off your child on time — contacting the protected party can still be considered a criminal violation under N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50B-4.1.

A violation may occur when:

• You arrive early or stay too long at a custody exchange.
• You speak directly to the other parent, even briefly.
• You use a third party to deliver messages not approved by the court.
• You send texts or calls about the child without a written exception allowing communication.

Penalties for violating a DVPO or no-contact order include:

• Class A1 misdemeanor charges (up to 150 days in jail).
• Felony charges for repeat violations or when a weapon or child is involved.
• Contempt of court proceedings.
• Negative impact on custody rights, since violations show disregard for court orders.

Even an unintentional encounter — like both parents arriving at the same place for a school event — can create legal risks if the defendant doesn’t immediately leave or contact law enforcement.

How Courts Handle Custody and No-Contact Conflicts

When protective orders and custody overlap, North Carolina courts typically issue specific instructions to help parents comply while maintaining access to their children. These can include:

• Neutral exchange locations – Police departments, sheriff’s office parking lots, or supervised visitation centers.
• Third-party exchanges – A trusted friend, family member, or agency handles the drop-offs.
• Written or app-based communication only – Using tools like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents that allow monitored communication about children.
• Law enforcement standby – Officers are notified ahead of time to monitor exchanges and prevent direct contact.

If your current order does not include these safeguards, your attorney can request a modification to clarify exchange procedures and prevent future violations.

Safe, Legal Alternatives for Coordinating Exchanges

1. Use a Supervised Exchange Center

These facilities allow parents to exchange children under the supervision of staff who document arrival and departure times. Many North Carolina counties have court-approved centers for this purpose.

2. Rely on a Neutral Third Party

Appoint a mutually agreed person (like a relative or friend) to facilitate pick-ups and drop-offs. The court can officially name this person in the order to ensure compliance.

3. Exchange at Law Enforcement Locations

Police department parking lots or sheriff’s offices are among the safest options, providing security and witnesses if disputes arise.

4. Use Monitored Messaging Apps

Court-approved communication tools like OurFamilyWizard and TalkingParents are admissible in court and prevent accidental violations by tracking all messages.

5. Modify the Order Before Attempting Contact

If your DANCO or DVPO doesn’t clearly outline how exchanges should occur, you must petition the court for clarification before arranging contact. Never assume verbal agreements are sufficient.

Defenses for Alleged Violations

If you’re accused of violating a DANCO during a child exchange, there may be valid defenses, such as:

• Lack of intent – You didn’t knowingly or willfully violate the order.
• Order ambiguity – The order failed to specify exchange terms.
• Mutual or accidental contact – Both parties arrived unexpectedly at a location (e.g., school pickup).
• Emergency circumstances – Medical or safety emergencies involving the child required contact.

An experienced North Carolina criminal defense and family law attorney can review your order, reconstruct the event, and argue that the contact was incidental or not a willful violation.

How to Avoid Future Violations

• Read your order carefully. Never assume you understand its limits. Even brief text messages or indirect communication can violate the terms.
• Keep all communication documented. Use written records through monitored apps instead of calls or in-person conversations.
• Follow court orders precisely. If you’re unsure, ask your attorney to file for clarification or modification.
• Stay consistent. Use the same safe location and schedule for every exchange to prevent confusion or misinterpretation.
• Avoid intermediaries not named in the order. Only court-approved individuals should assist with exchanges or communication.

Key Takeaway

Violating a DANCO or domestic violence order during child exchanges can quickly turn a family matter into a criminal case — even when you’re simply trying to see your child. North Carolina law treats all contact violations seriously, whether intentional or not.

If your order doesn’t clearly outline how to handle exchanges, speak with a family law attorney right away. The lawyers at Martine Law can help you request a court-approved plan that protects your parental rights and keeps you safe from future violations.

Contact us today to discuss modifying your order or defending against a violation charge.

Disclaimer: This content is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For legal guidance specific to your situation, please contact Martine Law.