There’s a very real moment that many divorced parents face. When your teenager says, “I think I want to live with Dad,” or “I feel more comfortable at Mom’s house.” And suddenly, everything shifts.
You want stability for them. You want fairness. “Does what my teenager’s preference actually matter in a North Carolina court?”
The North Carolina Judicial Branch explains how judges evaluate custody factors, including a child’s input when appropriate,
At Martine Law, our team knows this stress and stands ready to guide you through it. Our North Carolina child custody lawyers will review your case and show how a teen’s voice fits into the broader custody picture.
Contact us today to discuss your options.
How North Carolina Views a Teenager’s Custody Preference?
North Carolina’s child custody laws are guided entirely by one core principle:
What is in the child’s best interest?
This standard comes from N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-13.2, in which the court must award custody in a way that “best promotes the interest and welfare of the child.”
Now, here’s where teens come in.
While there is no magic age at which a child “gets to choose,” courts typically begin giving meaningful consideration to preferences from age 12 and up, with greater weight often applied between 14 and 16.
But this preference is not simply, “I like Dad better or “Mom lets me stay up late.”
Instead, judges look at:
- Does the teen understand long-term consequences?
- Do they speak from maturity or from anger?
- Are they choosing stability — or convenience?
- Is one parent influencing them?
Most importantly, they want to ensure pressure, gifts, guilt, or manipulation didn’t shape the preference.
Many teens share their views privately with the judge in a process called “in camera testimony.” This means the teen speaks to the judge in the judge’s office, without parents present, allowing them to talk honestly without feeling pressure from either parent.
Our team at Martine Law has seen teens’ thoughtful input lead to more balanced parenting time. Consulting a parenting time attorney in North Carolina early helps you assess this without putting your child in the middle.
How North Carolina Weighs a Teen’s Preference: Legally and Practically
Judges must consider many factors under North Carolina statutes. A teen’s preference is just one piece of a much bigger puzzle.
Here’s how the court typically weighs these elements:
| Best-Interest Factor | How a Teen’s Preference Affects It |
| Emotional bonds with each parent | Stronger if the teen explains healthy connections |
| School stability & daily routine | Judges listen closely to whether schedule disruptions matter |
| Safety & wellbeing | Overrides all, preference won’t stand if unsafe |
| Parental involvement history | Teen’s stories about support carry weight |
| Sibling bonds | Courts hesitate to separate siblings |
| Child’s maturity & reasoning | Preference matters only if well-reasoned |
Recent trends show judges increasingly consider mental health and adjustment to home, school, and community, per updates in 2025 custody guides.
If you’re unsure whether your teen’s reasoning will hold up legally, a North Carolina child custody lawyer at Martine Law can evaluate this in a private consultation.
If Your Teen Says They Want to Live with the Other Parent:
It’s normal to feel hurt, defensive, or worried.
But here’s the truth: This is not a reflection of your worth as a parent.
Teens often base preferences on school commitments, friend groups, step-siblings they bond with, mental health needs like feeling “less stressed” in one home, and lastly, logistics like transportation to work or extracurriculars
Before taking legal action, here are steadying steps:
1. Talk with them gently.
You must ask questions, not to influence them, but to understand. Teens often respond better when they feel heard rather than defended.
2. Avoid criticizing the other parent.
Judges quickly spot alienation. Keep parenting and communication cooperative. Demonstrating respect for the other parent and willingness to co-parent strengthens your position.
3. Start gathering context.
School records, counselor notes, teacher emails, or anything that shows a change is genuinely in the child’s best interest.
4. File a motion if circumstances have changed
NC law allows modification when something “substantial” affects the teen’s well-being, such as a significant move, a change in work schedule, or health concerns.
5. Prepare for mandatory mediation
North Carolina requires custody mediation (unless exempt), which often leads to agreements without trial.
A conversation guided by a professional can sometimes lead to agreements that keep conflict low and protect your teen emotionally. If you want help preparing this documentation or guidance on navigating these steps, Martine Law can guide you every step of the way.
What Happens When Teens Speak Up in Court? Common Outcomes
Based on NC case trends, here’s what typically happens when teens (ages 13–17) express strong preferences:
1. Custody may shift
When the teen presents logical, thoughtful reasons—especially related to school, mental health, or stability.
2. Parenting time adjustments
This is the most common result. Judges often tweak the schedule rather than overhaul custody.
3. No change at all
If the teen’s preference appears influenced by:
- gifts or bribery
- promises of less discipline
- emotional manipulation
- short-term convenience
In NC in 2024, around 70% of custody disputes were settled in mediation, often incorporating teen preferences in some form. A skilled North Carolina child custody lawyer knows how to present this evidence strongly and early. Call us at +1(704)842-3411
How Martine Law Helps with Teen-Influenced Custody Cases?
With decades of experience navigating custody cases in North Carolina, here’s how Martine Law supports you:
- We review your entire family situation to determine whether your teen’s preference conflicts with NC law.
- We help gather documentation demonstrating stability: school records, community involvement, mental health or counseling reports, and home environment.
- We guide you to avoid pitfalls; no coercion, no pressure, no “parental coaching.”
- We can coordinate with neutral professionals (therapists, counselors, GALs) if that helps support your child’s expressed preference.
- We build a custody plan focused on what serves your child’s well-being, with sensitive, long-term thinking.
- We remain available to answer questions, prepare paperwork, and support you through the process.
This builds trust, turning tough spots into stable futures. With this approach, your child’s preferences are not just heard; they’re presented in the strongest possible way under the law.
A Final Step
If your teenager has told you which parent they’d rather live with, or if you’re considering custody options, talk with an experienced North Carolina child custody lawyer who can review your entire situation, help you prepare documentation, and advise how best to present your child’s wishes.
Martine Law is ready to stand by you. If you want a private review of your case and how your child’s preferences could affect it, you can reach out to Martine Law for a consultation at any time.
Call us at +1(704)842-3411, and we’re available round-the-clock to guide you throughout the process.